arbiyanti

Socially Clueless

My boss couldn’t come to the meeting that embassy held, so she asked me to come. At the very last minute. Sigh.

See the thing is, I practically declined to come to the annual administration party held by the embassy just the day before simply because I’m finding it hard to be in a place full of people yet feeling empty inside. Okay, please excuse my exaggeration there. Haha.

So after succeed in avoiding the crowd of embassy people, I yet to come to this meeting ‘Kriseninformationveranstaltung‘. Yup, I’m in a crisis alright! It was just a one-hour event about how the Germans (living in Indonesia) handle crisis, presented by embassy for representative of 25 german institutions. After 12 slides of power point and 50 minutes presentation including Q&A, the event was over and I literally ran myself to catch the train to BSD. Before I left, I noticed that people were making small talk after the event. But not me. I wasn’t interested to stay any longer because I had no clue whatsoever about handling crisis and I certainly wasn’t in the mood to talk with people. Gosh, I’m so bad in networking.

But seriously, I wonder how people can make small talk easily while here I am entering room full of people feeling small all of the sudden. Not that I’m not confident or lack of self esteem. I just find myself to be more at ease when I feel like I want to attend an event. Even then, I’d prefer to be the listener among the crowd though sometimes it gets tiring to hear people bragging about themselves. I’d like to be socially active engage in meaningful conversation with people. But I don’t like to pretend to be someone I’m not.

I’ll call myself socially clueless. Or perhaps socially awkward as Ty Tashiro mentioned in his book titled: Awkward: The Science of Why We’re Socially Awkward and Why That’s Awesome (April, 2017). It’s an interesting term considering the fact that I don’t think myself as an awkward person or intentionally branding myself to be different than the others. But I agree that some people see things in unusual perspective, hence we have different approach when it comes to social settings.

Being a little bit socially clueless somewhat brings its own perks. As Tashiro explained in his article (read more Being Socially Awkward Is Actually Awesome, According to Science) that embracing our unique perspective and exuberance for uncommon things is the key to realizing our unique potential.

Jakarta, 16.12.17

PS: Later that afternoon, someone from the embassy called my colleague asking how come nobody from the school came to the event. I widen my eyes and told my colleague that I was sitting in front of that man wearing red dress. How can someone not see the colour red?!

PSS: I’m probably very much invisible. Yeah, don’t mind me. Haha.

Update on 21.12.17: An article that might help me or should anyone feel the same awkwardness like me……     Okay then, let’s break the ice with these 5 questions:

Question 1: How do you know… (mention the person who invites you to the event)?

Question 2: They pick really good songs, don’t they?

Question 3: What do you think about the presentation?

Question 4: Your holiday sounds like fun. Say, what’s your next destination?

Question 5: Have you met my friend, … (mention your friend’s name or include someone else to the conversation)?

Oo well.. just just read the article for detail 5 Pertanyaan Basa-Basi untuk Kenalan Dengan Orang Baru

 

4 thoughts on “Socially Clueless

  1. Vita

    Yay!!! It’s so nice to have the mood to blogwalking and commenting, esp here!
    Btw, my comments are….
    1. Is “socially awkward” like the new term of “introverted”? :S :p Reading ur description, I concluded u’re an introverted person (just like me)
    2. I like it how u added the last bit. In 7 habits book they called it “baby steps”. And I remember there’s a part about “leaving your comfort zone”. So yeah those questions are like ur baby steps to leaving ur comfort zone. I don’t like question no.2 though! (couldn’t be more awkward after asking that to a stranger xD)
    3. I miss u and our chat! xD

    1. arbiyanti Post author

      I’m here, Jeung! Nice to have you back :) where’ve you been?
      Okay, let’s discuss your comment:
      1. I’m not psychologist with definition type of people, but I guess we’re talking about the same thing here, that introvert people tend to avoid crowd or doesn’t like to be the center of attention. as to oppose common definition that introvert people doesn’t like social-setting, I prefer to acknowledge that introvert people is very much social-people, just more to the socially-awkward-kind-of-people type. I mean.. let’s face it, we don’t intentionally avoid social setting, right? In social-setting, we interact with people we’re comfortable with but feeling awkward when it comes to new-people. Which brings me to no 2…
      2. Yes, these baby-steps on leaving our comfort-zone is very crucial when it comes to changing our view about engaging ourselves with people around us (read: strangers or people that we don’t actively involved with). I’ve actually asked people questions no 1, 3 and 5 but can’t seem to remember if they brought effect on me or not! Hahaha.
      3. IMU…funny how we’ve never met in real life yet i’m missing our chat as well :)

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